Today’s prompt: Think of a person, real or imagined, who has been held out as an example of how to live, But….

As you lie drawing your last breaths
This is not easy to say.
Yet it's better I express
What I need to say some day. 

Mothers are to be looked up to
In Hindi movies, paragons of virtue
"Mere pass Ma hai"* haven't you heard?
Yet to me, they are only words.

You always wanted a son, a boy
Your disappointment in me was obvious
I tried to be the winner, to bring joy
But to me you were so oblivious. 

The only time you stood by me, 
Truth, no matter how trite, be said
Was when I decided to study Arts. 
I was too stupid to do Science instead. 

Yes, I was stupid, for growing up, I sought
Validation from you when there was naught.
I never heard an encouraging word from you
With my choices, as I did what I had to. 

It took years for me to throw off your shadow
I had no role model with kids of my own
Over time and much trauma I learnt to let go 
And now I'm happy with the way they've grown. 

No role model, but I knew what NOT to do,
Not differentiate between the two
treat them kindly, be consistent, lend an ear
Pick them when they fall, help wipe that tear. 

So, I've made mistakes, some of which I regret
But at the end of the day, it is true
I have my faults, things I did I'd rather forget
But I am happy. In spite of you. 

*Hindi. Means, “I have mother with me,” A famous dialogue from the 1975 super-hit Hindi film “Dewar” when the wayward/criminal son brags about his riches and big house and bungalow while the other son (obviously an honest cop) says the line!