(Today’s prompt is to write a poem that plays with the idea of a list. So here it is, list of things I have with my father who I lost almost 31 years ago… miss him everyday.)
I have sea beaches where we looked for sea-shells,
And we spent hours making sand castles
I have early morning walks with the sun barely out,
where you would name the flowers that I always forgot.
I have biscuit crumbs in my pockets for the strays
That, unknown to Ma, you let me pet and feed and play.
I have the long winding paths in the mountains
through the mist rising just before it rained.
I have the math questions you set each morning
though I never knew if the tank was full or emptying.
I have your shirts I wore when you were at work
because a wardrobe of my own stuff was never enough.
I have lazy summer holidays at the garden house
where the sun and swimming and cycling was never too much.
I have afternoons of turning lazy somersaults in the pond
while you trimmed the ivy and inspected the grounds.
I have the times we messed the kitchen which we then cleared up,
giggling like conspirators before Ma woke up from her nap.
I have your gentle discipline to guide me,
and the thought of your frown makes me cringe
I have another afternoon when I had lied
and you struggled to keep the tears out of your eyes
I swore then and there not to do anything to cause you hurt
Or I cannot tell you about, and I have kept my word.
I have long evenings spent watching the setting of the sun
even as the kites we were flying could no longer be seen.
I have evenings infused with the clear perfume
of fresh gardenias and the night blooming jasmine
I have summer nights watching clear skies
and the stars you pointed out watching over us.
I have days and nights sitting alone in a strange hospital
in a strange city watching you battle a cancer that ate you whole
I have lessons of strength for never did you cringe in pain
as night after night I changed the dressings in my clumsy way
Most of all I have your voice, that familiar refrain
That echoes in my ears each time (I think) you call my name.
ipsita banerjee 
Such a beautiful poem, Ipsita. I began making my list of my mother who I lost 17 years ago to cancer.
‘I have another afternoon when I had lied
and you struggled to keep the tears out of your eyes
I swore then and there not to do anything to cause you hurt.’ This made me think of my daughter and husband.
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Thank you, it means so much!
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Such a touching poem! I lost my father 12 years ago in August – 6 days before my birthday – and they never really leave you, do they? Beautiful memories that brought tears to my eyes too, especially ones similar to my own in the lines:
‘I have the times we messed the kitchen which we then cleared up,
giggling like conspirators before Ma woke up from her nap’
and
‘I have days and nights sitting alone in a strange hospital
in a strange city watching you battle a cancer that ate you whole’.
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I thank you for my tears
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Aww.
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wOW TO BE LOVED LIKE THIS– I’m sure your brother has the same memories of you. I am certain. this is lovely. thanks for sharing. So beautiful. xoxo
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it’s for my father… but yes, memories sometimes are all we have… left.
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A lifetime of love woven with memories and longing. This is beautiful and precious.
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This is a wonderful poem, so touching, and yes, brought a tear to my eye.
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thank you!
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heart touching one…I know this catharsis procedure as I face the same situation…sometimes and often…amar Babar kono smriti nei…
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So ad, luckily I have a treasure trove of memories. If you read my poems, he features in most of them!
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Acha…once I’m over with month I’ll surely
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So moving, so tender and so beautiful!
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Thanks!
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You are welcome.
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