I am still sitting there, submerged in water
As the setting sun slants in, watching
The coconut trees dancing in the wind.
Still lost in my thoughts, you in yours
Contentment seeping through pruned fingers
Stopping to paddle, to swim to chatter
Blowing fountains out of hands.
I’m still painting myself into a corner
As you laugh, your gardening tools in hand
Not quite saying, ‘I told you so!’
I still follow you as you tend to the plants,
Watching you trim the ivy, inhaling
The scent of flowers on a full moon night
Trying to remember where the stars hide.
I still listen for your key in the door
Waiting to throw myself at you,
There, right there at the edge of time.
In a home that still echoes our music
Our happy footsteps ring on that floor
The piano tinkles deep into the night
A home that is not mine anymore.
Our laughter still skitters on those walls
Turning into wind chimes, those who live
There now, look up and look away.
I still hear you speak to me at every turn
And I cut into cheese like it is a flower
Turning pineapples into gentle wheels,
Some things cannot be unlearned.
You’re still the same, as you look over your shoulder
To see if I am still there. I stay right where you left me
While moments turned to hours to days to years,
And that hand clinging to yours was turned away…
I still live, I laugh, I brood, just twenty-nine years older.